RSSIan Dunbar on Dog-Friendly Dog Training
Have I stressed to you how much I adore Ted Talks? Have you fallen in love yet?
In this December 2007 talk given by Ian Dunbar, he discusses his observations on human-to-animal and human-to-human interaction.
He relates an experience of boarding a plane and witnessing a father disciplining his child and remarks that if the child had been a dog, he would have acted to intervene. I, too, have been met with this situation and have always done the same as Dunbar: contemplated but not acted. While I hold to the African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child”, I find myself feeling highly uncomfortable when I see a parent behaving irrationally or otherwise unkindly towards a child. What do I say? Who am I to intervene? What if they tell me it’s their child and I should keep out of it, mind my own business? I can’t count the number of times I’ve chided pet owners for mistreatment, or offered ways they can better train their dog, or told them about the benefits of a harness over a collar.
Dunbar suggests we view the world through the dog’s eyes to better learn how to interact with them. I’d say the same goes for interacting with children.
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What I’ve been told about the situation described is that you don’t step in to correct the parent’s behavior towards the child. No parent, no matter how forgiving, wants to be told how to raise their kid, especially not in the heat of the moment. Instead you’re supposed to step in and engage the person in some innocous conversation about the weather, the traffric etc. to diffuse the situation. Sounds good. I’ve yet to be able to feel comfortable putting into practice. I usually try, when seeing a fussy child, to focus on the kid. Waving or holding their gaze. That seems to distract them enough to derail a tantrum, leading to the parent going off. But then, I like kids so I find that easier. But I’m also careful to not seem inappropriate.
also, I LOVE LOVE LOVE TED Talks. I’ve been wishing I could attend TED ever since I first heard about the conference. Oh well. I’ve got some years to go. maybe I’ll accomplish something so fantastic that they’ll invite me. [Keeping fingers crossed]
See, my level of comfort with children is not that high yet. Plus, I view it as the parent who’s to rightfully blame and calm down, not the child.
I heard somewhere that it’s good to step in by remarking to the parent, “My, what a handful you’ve got there” or “Kids are something, aren’t they?” But I don’t know; sounds hokey.
Parenting skills should be taught right next to US “history” in high school.