There are certain things I can TOLERATE from drunk college students.

Like when I’m in the Village, just standing around, observing things, and people walk by all cussing and shit? Talking about “Fuck this” and “Fuck that” and “Fuck her” and “Fuck him” or [some other comment or even some sexist comment]. Yeah, I can tolerate that. I obviously say ‘fuck’, too. Cause you know why? Because they’re drunk. I get drunk sometimes, too. And drunks often say shit they don’t mean. I know this.

But when I’m walking home, when I’m walking to my fucking FRONT DOOR minding my own shit, and some shirtless, beefcake drunk of an asshole is standing outside shouting, and I’m STILL minding my own business even though it’s one o’clock in the morning and he’s shouting, when this shirtless drunk asshole calls me a “fucking dumb bitch” just for the fuck of it? Yeah, that’s when I get angry.

Because I’m you’re fucking neighbor, asshole. And we’re supposed to be ‘neighborly’.

So, Hi, welcome to the fucking ‘Plex.

So you know what, Patrick? You and your fucking parties on the weekend? They can hum. Because we are having words tomorrow. When we’re sober. And they ain’t gonna be pretty.

You still haven’t addressed your other asshole friend pissing in my fucking Ficus. So that’s coming out, too.

‘Fucking dumb bitch’, indeed.

Holy fuck if we ain’t civilized up in here.

Again, Canadian, I miss you.