While making dinner I remarked to The Partner that something in the fridge was stinking. I open the door and ask, “Smell that? What is that? Is that your carrots?” He pulls out the two bags of carrot sticks, smells them, examines them for rot, says no.
He pulls out [...]

Him, moving dramatically towards me with arms flailing while I try to get away: “I’m slo-mo! You can’t be fast-mo!”